Mother’s Day 2013

13 May

I spent Mother’s Day entertaining my mother and mother-in-law.  I feel lucky to have them in my life and was happy to spend my time taking care of them.  We planned the lunch, shopped, cooked, cleaned up and enjoyed their company.

So, where am I going with this?  Yes, I am lucky.  But, at the end of the day I realized that I was not honored as a mother.  I was fine being the “daughter,” but, hey, I am also a mother.  This kind of fell between the cracks.

Now, I can get it is my responsibility to ask for what I want and need.  I can see that I did not do that and make sure that the day worked for me.

Part of me, I think, enjoys being the martyr/victim and not saying anything.  I felt good in the morning doing something for my mother(s).  But, what part of me wants to be right about my suffering and lack of attention?  Why would I not make sure that I was celebrated as well?  I don’t know.  It is something that I need to look at.

This happens on my birthday as well.  I say I don’t need or want anything, and then suffer at the end because no one did anything for me.

I finally blew up this morning, the day after, saying, why didn’t my kids do anything for me?  My husband tried to fix me, pacify me, talk me out of my feelings, and even got mad at himself for blowing it.  What I wanted was to have my feelings validated.

I started screaming, “I am their mother.  Why don’t they appreciate me?”

He just stared at me.  He tried to cover for them.

Part of me wanted to feel bad, and another part wondered why I didn’t ask for what I needed.  I don’t know the answer, but it gave me something to think about.

I have another question for you:  Who should be celebrating Mother’s Day?  I think everyone has or had a mother, so EVERYONE!!  The reason I say that is sort of out of guilt.  I said Happy Mother’s Day to someone who gave me a pained look and I thought, “uh oh, she made not have been able to have kids.  How insensitive of me!!”  I don’t really know.  Just being paranoid.

Well, I  hope EVERYONE had a nice mother’s day.  Even men, people who’s mother’s died, etc.  After all, don’t we all want to celebrate our mother’s even if they are no longer with us.  Being a mother, I say yes.


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