Trusting Myself

I published my first blog entry in two years the other day.  When I got home, my soon to be ex husband said, “I enjoyed your blog post today.”

“What?”  I cried.  “How did you know I posted something?”

“It came to my email.”

“Seriously?  Ugh.”  I said inwardly groaning.

“I liked it.”  He said.

“Well, I didn’t mean for it to get sent to you.”  Of all the people to see it, I thought.

So now every time I write a post, Mark will be reading it.

So, do I let this suppress me or do I dare to speak?

I think I will dare.

I have lived my life filtering what I tell to people.  For example, I told a couple of friends I was writing a memoire and their response was, “you can’t write that.  You can’t publicize that.”

So I stopped talking to them about it.  I tell other people who are supportive.  And, I am going to practice talking to people whether or not they agree with me.  I can trust myself and my own instincts and don’t need other people’s approval.

Well, it sounds good.  Let’s see if I can actually do it.