Normal Massage or Pervert?

I had  bought a massage package a year ago and forgotten about it.  I guess when I got uncomfortable with Joseph, my masseur, I didn’t know who else to ask for,  so I just stopped going.

Last Sunday my back was really bothering me.  I remembered I still had some prepaid massages to use.  I called up the massage place to see if there were any time slots available.

“We have Caroline today at 4:00, but she is gentle.  She doesn’t do deep tissue.  Is that ok?”  the girl on the phone asked.

“No, I need someone who can go deeper into my muscles.”

I booked Raoul for Monday at 5:30.  (Not his real name).

I looked forward to the massage all Monday.  My back was cramping and I was really uncomfortable.  I got there, filled out the paperwork, and tried to relax in the Tranquility Room.  Raoul picked me up there right on time.  We headed to room #6.

“Tell me why you are here.  What areas do you want me to work on?”

I told him about my back and showed him where it was hurting.  He had me lie down on the table after taking off my boots, fully clothed, face up.  He started stretching my legs.  I was wearing a dress and tights and was a little uncomfortable that my knees were going over my head.  I figured that since he was going to be rubbing me down naked, maybe I shouldn’t be such a prude.  I did have the tights on after all so he couldn’t REALLY see anything.

When he was done with the stretch, he told me to get undressed and get under the sheet face down.  I asked him if I should take off everything.

“You will be covered, so that is fine if you want to,” he said in an accented voice.  I couldn’t quite figure out where he was from.

I took everything off including my underwear and got under the sheet.  It felt a little funny to be totally naked, but I figured it was more comfortable this way.

Unlike Joseph, my old masseur, Raoul knocked on the door after a couple of minutes.  (Joseph had told me to get undressed and then didn’t come back for about 20 minutes.  I was under the sheet naked yelling “hey” and “hello” for the last ten, but it did nothing.  When he finally came back, he said he had gotten a call from his mother and had to talk to her.  He didn’t make up the time or apologize.  I never went back to him.)

So I was glad that Raoul had returned quickly.  He found the tight spots on my back and really worked them.  It felt like a knife was stabbing me in the sore spots but I took deep breaths, assuming that it would be worth the pain to feel better later.  It seemed like he knew what he was doing.  I really felt like he was working out the tight spots so that was good.  But when he started going up on the sides, he was kind of grazing my boobs.

“Are there muscles there?” I wondered to myself.  “Should he be doing that?”

He did it repeatedly.  “Do I want to say something or should I just try to relax?  Is this normal, or is he a pervert?”

I didn’t say anything.  But each time he went by there, I kind of tensed up a little.  Which sort of defeated the purpose of trying to have a relaxing hour.

He was working on the back/boobs for quite a while.  I started getting concerned.  Joseph, who talked to his mom instead of massaging me, only did my back for an entire hour.  I was disappointed at the end when the time was up and he didn’t do anything else.  Get assertive, I told myself.  I don’t want to make that mistake again.

“Are you going to do my legs too?” I asked Raoul in a little girl voice, finally, when I got up the nerve.

“Yes, I will do the whole body.”

OK good.  I thought.  I felt better knowing I had spoken up.

“Is it ok to do the glutes?” he asked.

“I guess so.  They have muscles in them, right?  And I think they are tight, too.”

Was that a mistake? I wondered.

Raoul took the sheet off my legs and tucked it into a place that felt very much like my vagina.  Why would he have to tuck it in there?  I wondered.

“Try to relax,”  I told myself.  He started massaging my butt and legs.  He came very close to the inside of the folds of my vagina.

“How the hell did he get in there?” I wondered.  I was lying face down.

“Oh relax,”  I told myself again.  “It’s a massage.  Maybe there are muscles in there that are tight.  When was the last time you got touched by a guy?  A while ago.  So just enjoy it.”

So I tried.  And at one point when I turned over, he was massaging the inside of my upper leg, dangerously close to what should have been a private place.  I tried not to laugh but couldn’t help myself.

“That tickles,”  I said feeling foolish so smiling so big.  “I’m ticklish.”

Raoul finally finished.  I got dressed and he waited outside for me with a cup of water.

I asked him to show me the “Child’s Pose” stretch that he had said would be good for my back.  He did.  I gave him his tip and walked to the front.

“Would you like to book another massage today?”  Rose at the front desk asked.

I looked at her.  I bit my lip.  “I think I have to think about it,” I said after a few minutes.  I thanked her and went out the door.

On the one hand, I felt like Raoul knew the muscles, where I was tight, how I could reduce the amount of pain and tightness I had been experiencing, and even showed me how to stretch.

But on the other hand, I wasn’t really relaxed and my instincts were going crazy that something was not ok,  even though my evil twin was telling me to just enjoy it.  Why repeat something that clearly wasn’t comfortable?

I think I will ask for someone different next time.  Someone who also knows the muscles, and can relieve the tightness,  but will not leave me wondering if they were crossing the line with every boob and vaginal swipe.

After all, a massage is a time to relax, not be concerned with the appropriateness of the masseur.

Any comments?