Tonight I am going to my favorite Mexican restaurant, Viva Zapata. I am going to meet some members of Staples, ’77, my high school class.
And, I just read the article on stress eating. And, I know I am a stress eater. I also am a stress drinker at times which also makes the stress eating that much worse.
I am at a point where I am ten pounds up from when I hit my low back in 2014. I am not happy about the number, but, according to Zach, my fabulous weight watchers leader, I only really gained the last 3 pounds in the last 3 years. I had been up 7 already before that. That was interesting to see. I didn’t just gain 10. I just gained 3. I just don’t like where I started the 3 from!!!
So, I have learned that making my body and my weight gain wrong only leads to more weight gain. Accepting myself and loving myself is a better idea but I am not always good at this.
It’s ok to say I don’t like that I’ve gained weight. And I have.
The only thing I can actually do in this present moment is make good choices. Worrying about tonight and what I will do is only stressing me out. Being afraid of gaining more weight also causes me to eat because of the stress. Thinking I don’t know what to do also causes both fear and stress.
And, there are times when things are hard or I am upset when I turn to food without eating knowing I’m upset. It temporarily numbs my discomfort and I am not even aware that something is wrong. After the fact, I am mad at myself for eating, but a more useful exercise is to see what turned me to food in the first place.
Common reasons:
- I haven’t spoken up and I am resenting the person that I didn’t speak up to – solution: speak up
- My ex husband has teamed up with my mother and ganged up on me- solution: learn to speak up instead of exploding and then feeling like the ass hole/bitch
- Things don’t go the way I planned and I am silently calling myself stupid for expecting something – solution: accept that I can’t always have things the way I want/take a deep breath/create a better plan/take a new action instead of dwelling in my upset
- When I drink enough to make me not care, I do mindless eating – solution: switch to water earlier, often I keep drinking thinking it will quench my thirst and it does not
- I will come up with more as I go – this is a good exercise so that I recognize my triggers
In the meantime, if I can actually get present, I can live in the moment with confidence, trusting myself and knowing that I know how to lose weight, eat healthy and feel great.
And know, that for my age, I do look pretty damn good, no matter what the scale says.
Thank you for listening. I needed that. I can go have fun, trust myself to make healthy choices, and have a great night with my friends. YAYAYAYAY!!!!
tiredoffeelingbad 
go enjoy your friends & the long time friendships, honor the fact that you ARE THERE, healthy. I am sure there are some members of the class that won’t be able to attend. Try not to worry about the rest… you look much younger than what your drivers license says.. the numbers on the scale are just that “numbers”. Have fun, rejoice & yes, perhaps go between “drinks” and soda water. You will thank yourself tomorrow..
Thank you, Aunt Patty!! It was great to see you this week. I actually did great. I had one drink and switched to water. I ate some nachos and enjoyed myself. Thanks for your support as always!!! I really appreciate it!!