10 Jul


Yesterday I had an eight hour training meeting.  My goal was to stay awake and I did.  YIPPEE!!  Did I learn something?  Sure I did, but I must say the meeting could have been shorter. 

Sybil just called and needs a ride.  Very quickly, I was up 2.4 pounds today at Weight Watchers.  Guess what I did?  Yes, you guessed it.  I cried.  I am so frustrated.  Melanie is great, though, she is the Prodigal leader.  She asked what is one thing I can change this week?  I thought for a while and I said.  More water.   I did not say cut out alcohol or food, I just said I would focus on more water.  I am drinking alot.

I swam tonight getting ready for my triathlon.   My legs are really sore.  I saw FB from afar.  If it wasn’t for the bag, I wouldn’t have known he was there.  I can only think that the whole thing is either in my mind or he realizes it is dumb since I am not available.  Why do I need these thoughts?   They are a comfort for me in some way, like food was.  There is nothing going on – really – unlike SM and LL.  He is now doing his own thing and not charming her which I am enjoying.  I think they did the deed last week.   I could be imagining it, but I don’t see them giggling together anymore or stretching together or even running together.  They were two peas in a pod and now he is doing his weights all alone with his music.

I think he is like a vampire.  He builds up the pressure and then once it blows, so to speak, he is done with the person.  I am just glad it is not me this time.  Much more interesting to watch. 

DH has avoided me since his weirdness.  He came up to me over the weekend and said I needed to “put out” already.  I just looked at him like he had two heads.  Where the fuck did that come from?  Now he is staying his distance.  I don’t really give a shit.  I am over him.  I am not over FB.  I can’t figure out the obsession, but I will.  In case Jack is reading this, THERE IS NOTHING GOING ON OUTSIDE OF MY MIND.  I am working on the mind piece so take a chill pill and don’t wake me up.

Gotta go.  I am not going to censure myself because of Jack’s nosiness.  So there.  Well, I am a little, but at least I am back to blogging.  Gotta get Syb.



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