Your Mind Doesn’t Know Fact from Fantasy

Since the mind doesn’t know fact from fiction, I decided to try an experiment.  After yesterday’s blog post, I realized how crazy I am over my last guy.  It made no sense logically, but emotionally I was still hanging on to some false hope.

We still work out together some mornings, and I have still been taking things personally that he says.  Then I get sarcastic and pick a fight.  And it ends up badly.

I know I waste a lot of psychic energy obsessing about these arguments and comments, and for what?  He is neither available nor interested in having a relationship.  But I was hanging on, desperately trying to get him to change his mind about me.  I could only think I needed him to validate me.  He loved me once, how could he just change his mind after what we had together?

(This part of my brain was not looking at the facts.  It was simply desperate for something. And I knew it made no sense, but I couldn’t seem to get unhooked once I was obsessing. I felt like I had to get him to change his mind about me. And I didn’t know why.  Did it really matter what he thought I would ask myself? But it gave me no freedom.)

So I decided to play a trick on my brain.  On my way to the gym this morning I told myself that I have a loving, devoted, passionate, amazing husband at home.  We have all the good of my last relationship, plus the trust, availability, connectedness, and willingness to communicate that I have always wanted.

And a crazy thing happened.  All of a sudden I was calm.  All of a sudden I didn’t care what Psycho said.  I didn’t take his comments personally and could see him objectively. I was confident and wasn’t worried about finding the next guy so I could prove to Psycho that I really was ok and desirable.  The desperation disappeared.

It was incredible.

And I am going to live into that future now of being loved, honored and respected.   I don’t know when I will meet the actual person that I am meant to experience this with, but I am no longer in a panic to prove something.   It’s crazy.

And, according to what I’ve read, the subconscious mind will go to work to make my thoughts come true. Because the mind doesn’t know the difference between fact and fiction.

So, go ahead mind.  Take it away.  I am finally going to enjoy my life.

Thank you in advance.