OK – so I am stressed and frustrated and nothing is helping me to unwind. So I am going to try to blog.
My goal is to accept my feelings and not think I shouldn’t have them so I am going to do a dump of everything that’s bothering me (even if it’s dumb and I don’t think I should be feeling bad because of it).
- I go to weight watchers. I had hit my maintenance range 5 years ago. This year, I have continued to gain slowly and I am up 10 pounds from 5 years ago. I am REALLY frustrated about it. It seems like whatever I do, I keep steadily going up. Each week when I see the gain, I freak out. The ladies today were really nice and giving me suggestions instead of yelling at me and trying to make me happy, they were very sympathetic which was nice.
- I moved back in with my mother. My kids are there. I’m trying to be positive about it, but it’s stressful. She’s on my kids backs and I feel like I’m in the middle. I WANT TO SCREAM!!!!
- I have to hit my numbers for work by a week from Friday. It’s stressful. I WANT TO CRY!!!! And, I have to keep moving on.
- My ex is always visiting us at my mom’s. She kisses his ass and I get mad and then I LOOK LIKE THE BITCH!!!
- I’m hot.
- At my physical I was asking my physician about certain things and her answer was that’s what happens as we age. NOT A GOOD ANSWER!!!!
- I’m on these stupid dating sites and it’s a freaking waste.
- I’m afraid to eat anything. So, it makes me want an ice cream cone because it doesn’t f——g matter anyway, I’m gaining no matter what. (And that’s going to help how?)
- I’m tired.
- It seems like alot of people are having strokes. WTF?
- Sometimes I get really sad when I think of my dad. I can hear his voice saying, “get over it already” and I think I should.
- I hate the fact that I have to tuck my stomach roll into my underwear. I didn’t used to have one.
So, to add fuel to this I think it’s a stupid blog. But, since I think it already published itself, I will update it. If it makes no sense I am sorry.
Do I feel any relief? I think there’s probably more. I don’t know why I’m so tired. Maybe I’m just tired. I’ve been working out harder then normal and it could be that i just need a rest.
Who knows? One day at a time. I have to get to a client. i guess I could get off it. Maybe I will. But not right now. I’ll give myself 15 minutes. Ok? Deal.
Leave a Reply