Too Tired to Have Fun?

I’m thinking about a few different things I could do tonight.  Some sound more fun then others.

But all I want to do is sleep.  And that concerns me.

But if I really think about it, I got up at 4:15 AM that last two mornings to work out.  And, the night before last I couldn’t sleep at all.  So, maybe it’s ok that I’m tired.  I should be.

And, I’m stressed out about work.  And, my living situation is strange.

I think I’m also trying to please everyone.  I said yes to a phone campaign that I have yet to do anything on.  I was feeling bad about it so today I revoked my promise.  One thing off my plate.

And, I could go into New York with my son tonight for his graduation from a program he did.  But that’s about 7 hours worth of travel and sitting.  I can’t see it.  I love him, but I can’t see it.

And, my friend wanted to go to a concert but that got moved to tomorrow.  So, I’m off the hook for that one.

What I would really like to do is go to the beach and just chill alone.  And, I do have my bathing suit in my car.  Or, I could go to the pool and actually have a swim and read a book.  Just play hooky and not tell anyone where I am.  It’s strange living with my mother and feeling like I have to explain things.  If I’m working, I feel legit.  If I’m relaxing, I feel like I have to hide.  Why is that?

I think that trying to keep people happy or un-mad at me is stressing me out and exhausting me along with lack of sleep.   I am working hard to hit my numbers, getting up early to work out, taking on extra accountabilities in my programs, and trying to see my kids,  and dealing with the chaos of living with my mom for the summer.

I guess I could give myself a break.  That actually makes me want to cry.  What would that be like?  To just stop and smell the roses and relax.  Wow!!!  What a freaking concept!!

I might just try it.  Just let myself off the hook for everything.  Wish me luck.

OK, wrapping up at the client.

Final calculation:  If all of the business goes through today, we have gone from needing $12,872 this morning to $5166 more to go for the week.  Keep your fingers crossed.  We’ve halved it today.  YAY!!!