Things Turned Around

One of the people that told me I was “too sensitive” yesterday was my mom.  I was really annoyed with her after she said that.  (See yesterday’s blog).

Today, Tuesday, I was just felt off.  I didn’t know what was wrong.

I didn’t accomplish what I wanted to at work.  I had two no shows and scheduled no new appointments.  I’m behind in my numbers for the quarter and I don’t see any rainbows coming on the horizon.  The girls at work were complaining and negative, and then made some comments about me that I didn’t like and didn’t react well to.  And to top it off, I was up .2 at weight watchers (not a big deal, but it goes with the flavor of the day so I’m including it).

I guess I was just living “on the other side of life” where everything looks bleak.  I even thought of stalking my old ass hole boyfriend which is totally ridiculous.  That’s how bad the day was.

On the way home I was talking to my son and realized the darkness was just masking sadness.   My mom does so much for my kids and I and sometimes I get impatient, frustrated, and bitchy with her.  It makes me feel like a real heel.

After finally letting the sadness out with a good cry, I wanted to make ammends.

I tried to call my mom but she didn’t answer.  I got home and just tried to relax.  I had three new messages on my home answering machine which I never listen to.  They are always about some girl who is in very bad trouble and she needs to call the number back immediately.  They sound very harsh.  (I’ve called them and told them it’s a wrong number, but they keep calling anyway).  I don’t know if it’s a scam.

Curiosity got the better of me and I finally listened to them.  The middle message was from my mom apologizing for making me feel bad yesterday.  She loves me and doesn’t want me to be sad.  She likes me better when I am laughing and joking so she felt bad.  It was very sweet.

I called her and apologized back to her.  She understood and forgave me.  I feel much better now, the sadness is gone and my affinity for her is back.  Which I am totally grateful for.

On a separate note, I was disturbed that my computer fixer guy had been ignoring my requests for help for a month.  I didn’t know why.   Of course I thought I had done something to bother him.  Taking it personally as usual.

I decided to change up the communication.  I emailed him today and said I would pay him before talking to him if that’s what it took.  He answered immediately and apologized.  He already fixed my computer as of a half hour ago.

Fixing these things that take up my mental energy really helps my overall mood.  Especially when I blame myself for what is wrong.  Once I know it’s not me, I can get over it.  It frees me up to think about more productive things.

Two good things today which made the day improve a whole lot.

Tomorrow is a new day.  I’ll just get back out there again and do the best I can.  Thanks for listening.