25 Jan

In my old Amway days, they would say people had “HUB.”  It stood for Head Up Butt.  Anyone who didn’t get “it” had HUB.  Or anyone who didn’t listen to “good” advice, etc.

And I have been suffering from HUB for a few good days now.  Obvious from my last few blog entries.

Today I was still suffering.  Then I got on our daily “Wisdom” call.  I “got into communication” as I talked about yesterday and told them that I couldn’t see any miracles in the last year even though I know I’ve had many.  I couldn’t remember ANY!!!  NOT ONE!!!

And Joyce, our wise leader said that sometimes not killing someone is a miracle.  True, I thought and in my case, not killing myself.  (Don’t worry I’m not suicidal (Suey – we used to call it(Wow, double parens, let’s go for triples))).    OK – I know, it’s not excel where the parens have to match in the equations.  I’m having fun here.

But I digress………..Our challenge was to write to someone from each decade who had made a contribution to our lives.  They had to be alive so of course all I could think of was my dead piano teacher.  He told me I had talent.  I never knew that and never practiced until the day he said that.  I memorized my 4 pieces for my senior recital.  You never saw a girl practice so happily after those 3 words.  So, thank you, Richard, may you rest in peace.

For the live people, I decided to call my mother.  She’s the one that always believed in me no matter what.  She never stopped loving me despite my various moods.  When I interviewed her 20 years ago for a course, all she had to say were kind words.  I was waiting for the bad stuff.

“What about my moodiness?” I asked, cringing and waiting for the negative.

“I don’t even give that a second thought.  I think you are wonderful.”

“Are you sure you’re not just being nice?”  I asked.

“Nope.  That’s all I see is the good.”  Wow!!!!

And so I called her this morning and acknowledged her for each decade of my life.

The first decade she took care of 4 kids under the age of 7.  Enough said.  (And still kept it together when she had number five a few years later).

The second decade she carted me to all sorts of music lessons.  Piano, flute and harp.  Unbelievable.  Each private lesson cost money, too.  And my parents were very frugal, so it was even more special.   And she never stopped believing in me and didn’t admonish me, even when I didn’t practice.

Third decade:  When I got rejected from Wharton the first time I tried to transfer in from the liberal arts school at Penn, I called her crying.  I was done.

“Try again,” she said.  “You can do this.”

“You sure?”  I asked, not wanting to get rejected again.

“Of course,”  she answered.

I decreased my class load, got the grades required, applied again and got in.  Thanks to her encouragement, I graduated from one of the top business schools in the country.

Fourth decade:  She supported me through the horror of trying to nurse my first child.

“Bring him to me,” she said.   I did.  She held him while I could get my s—t together.

Another time I called her at wit’s end.

“Jesse fell and broke his arm.  He’s downstairs.  Haley (the newborn) is crying upstairs.  I just got out of the shower.  I’m naked and can’t move.  I can’t even figure out what clothes to wear or who to help first.   HELP!!”

“Put on the clothes you wore yesterday and I’ll meet you at the doctor’s.”  And she did.

She was always there.  She never complained.  She just gave and gave and gave.

And now, in my 50’s, she is still there for me and my family.  Our house is being rebuilt so there is no home for the kids.  She graciously took them and their father in.  No complaints.  Happy to feed them, help with their laundry, support them and love them.  No bitterness.

So there you have it.  My mom.  And you know what, just by focusing on her and all she’s done, my head was removed from my butt.  I feel grateful instead of thinking I need to be fixed and what is wrong with me.

Yet another technique for moving to the “right” side of life.  Acknowledge someone.

So I will now take the time to acknowledge the three women who have made a difference for me this year in Wisdom.  It is coming to an end and I will miss Saturday’s completion in New York.  So here goes:

Thank you, Joyce, for your genius in creating these challenges and all the other things you do to further the Wisdom conversation.  You have made a difference for me by believing in me when I can’t believe in myself.  Your generosity, discipline and creativity among many other wonderful traits are inspiring.   Your ability to tell one on yourself keeps me smiling and able to honor my own humanity.

Ana Maria Garcia is a gift to me as well.  Her courage, generosity, love, and compassion are also inspiring.  I am blessed to know her and to be able to be in communication with such a wise and amazing person.  She enables the phrase “never give up.”  Kudos to her and her ability to source the program no matter where she was.

And, Nina, my little red headed bundle of wonder.  Her unfaltering dedication to our team is also a gift.  She never gave up and always believed in me despite what I was saying about myself.

Thank you to the 4 amazing ladies in my life.  I love you.




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